Vince McMahon along with Jim Ross are your announcers.

Vince : Hello everyone and welcome to the first ever Monday Night Raw!
        We have a jampacked crowd here in New Haven, Conneticut, and
        the atmosphere is electric here after what happened on Thursday
        Night!

Ross :  That's right Vince. In case you didn't know, Shawn Michaels
        is the first ever WWF World Heavyweight Champion. As well as
        that, a long time personal favorite of mine, Chris Benoit is
        the new Intercontinental Champion. But thats not all. Vince?

Vince : Thankyou JR, Madusa has returned to the World Wrestling
        Federation, and she has won the WWF Women's Title with
        victories over Bertha Faye and Bull Nakano on Thursday Night.
        But the tag team titles are in disarray. JR?

Ross :  Well before I tell you what the WWF is planning to do on
        this situation, let me take you back to Thursday Night.
        The Godwinns defeated The New Age Outlaws by disqualification
        in a first round match. But all three other first round ties
        ended in time limit draws.

Vince - This would mean that The Godwinns, being the only team
        with a victory, would be the tag team champions. But as
        everyone knows, titles can not change hands on a
        disqualification here in the WWF. So tonight, there will be a
        six man battle royale, with one man each from The Harlem Heat,
        The Headbangers, The LOD, the DOA, The Midnight Express and
        either Brian Christopher or Scott Taylor. The winner of this
        battle royale will then, along with his tag team partner, face
        The Godwinns next week on Raw for the vacant tag team titles.
        And speaking of The Godwinns lets go to our first match.

The Godwinns beat Gary Albright and Barry Horowitz when Phinneas Godwinn hit Albright with the Slop Drop in 3-51 --- -1.5*

Vince : An impressive victory for The Godwinns ahead of their tag
        title match next... WAIT, HERE COME THE OUTLAWS!

Jesse Jammes and Billy Gunn charge to ringside, brandishing steel chairs. The two men attack Henry from behind. Phinneas goes to help his younger brother (cousin?), but he is knocked down from behind by Hunter Hearst Helmsley who had made way his to the ring through the crowd. The beating continues until the ring fills up with officials. The Godwinns are laid out unconscious in the middle of the ring, with blood all over them.

Ross : Welcome back everybody. We apologize for what just happened,
       ladies and gentlemen. You know, whether you like The Godwinns
       or you hate them, they didn't deserve that.

Vince : Indeed they didn't. Well, we've got a battle royale
        scheduled up next for the right to face the Godwinns next
        week, whether they are going to be fit enough to wrestle next
        week, well that seems doubtful. Anyway, lets take you to this
        next match.

Animal (Legion Of Doom) won the six man battle royale after eliminating Skull in 17-53. --- .75*

Vince : Well Animal was like a house on fire in there, eliminating
        Skull to win the match, as well as eliminating Thrasher, Bart
        Gunn and Brian Christopher.

Ross : Good thing the King isn't here this week, that might have been
       Too Much for him to take.

Vince : Ha Ha Ha Ha. Now lets take you to some pre-recorded comments
        from the new WWF Cruiserweight Champion, Devon Storm.

Backstage in Devon Storm's dressing room :

Storm : Ya know, I've only been in this business a short time, but
        one thing I've learnt is that you've got to take your chances.
        Well I finally got my chance on the big stage, and what do I
        do? I went out and beat three of the top cruiserweights in
        the world! I'm on my way to becoming one of the true legends
        in this sport, and no one's gonna stop me!

Back to ringside :

Vince : Confident words there from the champion, and he'll be
        defending his title against Fuerza Guerrera later on tonight.

<-commercials->

Ross : Welcome back folks. We're gonna take you straight to Michael
       Cole backstage.

Backstage. Henry and Phinneas Godwinn are being carried on stretchers and put into an ambulance:

Cole : Thanks JR, things don't look too good here for the Godwinns.
       I've spoken to one of the paramedics and he said that Henry's
       condition was very serious, but that's all I have right now.
       Back to you Vince and JR.

Back to ringside :

Vince : Well, thank you Michael. You've got to wonder JR, with the
        big match for the tag titles coming up next week, are Henry
        and Phinneas going to be able to compete?

Ross : Well you know Vince, this tag team title situation is pretty
       messed up as it is without any thing else going wrong. What I
       want to know is why the Outlaws did what they did.

Vince : From what I can tell this is the outlaws trying to get
        some retribution on The Godwinns, because it was The Godwinns
        that put the outlaws out of the tournament, and the NAO were the
        only team not allowed in the battle royale.

Ross : Let's put this behind us for now, then, and concentrate on our
       next match up. For the cruiserweight title, it's gonna be Devon
       Storm vs Fuerza Guerra.

(Cruiserweight Champion) Devon Storm defeated Fuerza Guerra with the Thunderclap Brainbuster in 5-36 --- **.25
(Devon Storm retains the cruiserweight title)

<-commercials->

As we return back from commercials we see Hawk, Animal and Vince McMahon in the ring.

Hawk : ...so what the hell is going to happen to our title shot?

Vince : Well I'm afraid I don't have the answers right now, thank you
        very much, but I...

"OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW!?"

Ross (at announcers desk) : Oh oh, business is about to pick up here.

JJ : Your ass better call somebodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Now,
     lets get down to business. Earlier on, we showed those stinkin'
     hogfarmers what southern justice is all about, ha ha, and now
     it's time for us to interrupt this class of '35 high school
     reunion and make our business clear. We are the rightful WWF tag
     team champions, and as the rightful tag team champions, I think
     it's fair to say that we deserve a title shot.

Vince : The only thing you degenerates deserve is a suspension. Now
        get the hell out of here!

Billy Gunn : Ha Ha, you know Vince, I don't think we made our point
             clear enough for ya.

Gunn hits Vince right in the mouth, sending him sprawling to the outside. The LOD then attack the Outlaws and all hell breaks loose as officials try to restrain the two teams.

As Vince is being helped up and taken back to the announcer's table we take a break.

<-commercials->

As we return we see Chris Benoit approaching the ring. McMahon is back at the announcing table. Benoit takes the microphone from the Fink.

Benoit : You know what? I've been in this business over ten years and
         I ain't gotten no respect. But this here (he taps the
         Intercontinental belt around his waist), this demands respect.
         I've been screwed over too many times and this is...

"BAM BAM... BAM BAM..."

Benoit's mic is drowned out as Bam Bam Bigelow, defeated finalist in Thursday's Intercontinental tournament, heads to the ring.

Bigelow : You say you want respect? You say you deserve respect? You say
          you've been screwed over? Benoit, I invented the term getting
          screwed over! Last week, I beat you for the 1-2-3, then all of a
          sudden we got another referee coming in, the match restarting,
          and you getting the pin. Now what the (beep) is that all about,
          huh?

Benoit : My foot was on the rope and...

Bigelow : Oh yeah, your foot was on the goddamn rope. Typical
          bull(beep)!

Bigelow turns to face Vince at the announcers desk.

Bigelow : So what the (beep)'s up Vince? You tried to bury me before,
          now you trying it again?

Vince lowers his eyes and shuffles the papers on the table. Benoit then spins Bam Bam back around to face him.

Benoit : So who gives a (beep)? The bottom line is, I'm the
         Intercontinental Champion, and you're nothing but a fat piece of
         (beep)!

Bigelow swings at Benoit, but Benoit blocks it and nails Bigelow with a right hand of his own, sending Bigelow down to the mat. Benoit then jumps down on top of him and locks on the Crippler Crossface. Bigelow is writhing in pain as Benoit keeps the hold on for nearly a minute.

The camera then pans round to the entranceway, where out comes...

SHANE DOUGLAS!

Vince is in shock.

Vince : WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE? GET THAT (BEEP) OUTTA HERE!

Douglas is followed by Chris Candido. Benoit relinquishes the hold as he notes the arrival of the other two thirds of the triple threat. Benoit leaves through the crowd, Intercontinental belt in hand, as Candido and Douglas help Bigelow out of the ring. Douglas just has time to give McMahon the middle finger before he leaves the ringside area. Vince tries to compose himself as we go to a commercial break.

<-commercials->

Ross : Welcome back folks, and er, well, we got what should be a
       classic match coming up for you now. You okay Vince? You look a
       little flustered.

Vince : Just get on with your goddamn job and call this match!

Ross : I'm sorry Vince, but er, well it's gonna be Taka Michinoku
       against Rey Mysterio Jr. If you can remember, Thursday night
       these guys fought an amazing match. It ended in a time limit
       twenty minute draw, which eliminated both men from the
       tournament. The winner of this match tonight though, will
       receive a cruiserweight title shot at this years Royal Rumble,
       coming up on January 18th. Let's go to the ring.

Rey Mysterio Jr beat Taka Michinoku with a springboard hurricanrana in 15-58 --- ****.75

Vince : So Rey Mysterio Jr will take on Devon Storm at the Royal
        Rumble. How about that JR?

Ross : Well that certainly promises to be a great match Vince. Folks,
       we gotta take a break, but we'll be right back with the World
       Wrestling Federation champion.

Shawn Michaels is in the ring as we come back from commercials.

HBK : Helloooo Conneticut! Did you miss me?

(Resounding boos from the crowd)

HBK : Well as everybody here knows, the Heartbreak Kid Shawn
      Michaels, the main event, the showstopper, the icon that can
      still go, everybody here knows that he is the new World
      Wrestling Federation champion. And as everybody knows, the
      Heartbreak Kid is the greatest, most talented and sexiest WWF
      champion there will ever be. Last Thursday night, Shawn
      Michaels proved to the whole world why he is the main event.
      When Hulk Hogan, the icon of years long gone, was on the
      receiving end of my superkick, that showed the world why I was
      the showstopper. When "Stone Cold" Steve Austin got a hear of
      some sweet shin music, that proved that I am the one true icon.
      God, I enjoyed last night. I'd love to do it again, but the
      fact of the matter is, Hulk Hogan has packed his bags and gone
      off to the retirement home, whilst Steve Austin is back (beep)
      his mommy while his illegitimate brothers and sisters sit
      drooling at the spectacle.

Ross : Oh good grief. We apologise folks.

HBK : So if anybody else backstage has got the (beep) to get in
      the ring with the Heartbreak Kid then they can get their
      unworthy ass out here, because I'm up to any challenge.

We hear the screeching guitar sound of the Hitman over the speaker system.

Vince : Alright! It's the Hitman, Bret Hart!

Ross : A good friend of yours huh Vince?

Vince : Ha ha ha, didn't I already explain that before the show?
        Don't believe everything you read. Alright, here we go!

HBK : Oh here we go. Won't you ever give up Hitman? I've beaten you
      twice already. I even beat you in your hometown, in your own
      move! They even call me the Hart Break Kid.

Vince : (sigh)

Bret stands at the top of the ramp.

Bret : So your the Hart Break Kid? The only thing that's gonna get
       broken round here is your scrawny little ass!

HBK : Oh stop it. Your burying me, your burying me.

Bret : Well if your so (beep)ing confident, if you're so sure you
       can handle the excellence of execution, then how about getting
       it on, right here, right now?

The crowd is in a frenzy.

HBK : You are asking The Heartbreak Kid for a match, right here,
      right now? Listen marked man, The Heartbreak Kid Shawn
      Michaels decides who he wrestles, where he wrestles and when
      he wrestles and I'm not gonna wrestle you tonight.

Bret : So underneath all that cocky exterior, all the flashing lights
       and homosexual innuendo, underneath all that, your nothing but
       chicken(beep)?

HBK : I'll tell you what Hitman, I'll give you a title shot. I'll give
      you a title shot at The Royal Rumble.

Bret : Fine. You want 13 more days at being champion, that's fine. But
       come January 18th, we'll all know who the real showstopper is.

Vince : I'm sorry, we're out of time, see you next week!

The following section was added on June 25 1999.

    So that was the first ever WWF card. What a pile of poo. Luckily I decided to start writing match reports on the next Raw. At this point, up until the Royal Rumble, nothing that happened had any real effect on anything else.
    And how blatant was the stealing in the Bret/Michaels interview? A series of real Bret and Shawn qoutes, stuck together to form an interview.
I like the 'drooling at the spectacle' line though. :)
    A bad card overall though. Why the hell did I use Juve's dad?!