June 25th

Philadelphia, Pensylvania

Live On The U.S.A. Network 21:00 - 22:00

On tonight's menu : Jeff Jarrett's here, so's Austin and I doubt you'll keep *them* apart. Sid's in action in the main event, and the MDO are gonna be on hand as well. Plus Goldust in action, Harlem Heat in their tag team return, and some other boring crap.

Boring Crap? It can only mean one thing! It's time for THUNDER!

Yep, we're still in Philly, as we just can't get our damn truck started to get out of this dump. They should feel lucky they get to see some *real* wrestling action for once, instead of their usual gratuitous bullshit.

We start things off just like every Thunder should, with replays of thing's we've seen before. In this case, three days ago on Raw, as The Group That Needs A Name : You Know, The One With Jarrett In It (TGTNAN:YKTOWJII for short), and the MDO kicked the hell out of Michaels and Austin. Previously unseen footage [because I forgot last time] of Mero executing the TKO on Austin is shown.

So what happened after we went off the air Monday night? Nothing much at all. Jarrett and Rock exchanged a few words, before the MDO decided to depart. TGTNAN:YKTOWJII followed them moments later, and then Michaels left. And then Austin left. Too Hot For TV Folks!

2001 Space Odyssey? Whoo!

The champion walks to the ring, and look, there's Bart, and there's Bob! No Jesse 'What exactly *is* my purpose anymore?' Jammes though. The boos are pretty loud for Jarrett tonight, as can be expected. After all, Philly only cheers really *talented* wrestlers, you know, like NuJack.

Letterman : 'So, I was watching that ECW last night, yeah, you heard of that? Yeah, from Philadelphia. Oh, I see we got some Philles right here at the show. So, like I said, was watching the ECW last night, and let me tell you something : More blown spots than your average Presidential convention. Hehe. Whoah! Dig me out of this hole Paul! Paul Schaeffer everybody...'

...

Jarrett : 'I'm out here for so many reasons, I don't even know where to begin. I guess, firstly, I should tell all you people to shut your damn mouths and start paying respect to the champ! Booing me is just making you all look stupid, it's about time you realised that. Now then, Austin, Michaels? Looking back on Monday night just a few moments ago, well, I guess I would've thought you understood what the deal was. Stay out of my damn face. I've beaten you both, and even though I'll be taking one of you on at Summerslam, I think it'd be in your best interests to review Monday's tape, and see if you still wanna attack Jeff Jarrett. But there's another man I want to stay outta my business, and that's the Rock. You can take your little Million Dollar group, and get the hell outta town, 'cos you ain't getting near any of our belts. So let me see, checklist : Austin, Shawn, Rock, that leaves... Why, that leaves *you* Holly!'

Holly points towards himself and mouths 'Me?'

Jarrett : 'Yeah, I have a few points I want to make in your direction. But first, because of the fact that I'm the most important man in this company, the World Heavyweight Champion, I arranged for a little bit of video footage to be shown. So roll the damn tape.'

All eyes to the Titantron. Ugh, a match I really regretted doing, based on the later NME push, is played on the big screen. Adam Bomb vs Bob Holly from February, a match that lasts sixty seconds and sees Holly get no offense in. Holly looks upset that that hopefully forgotten contest has just been replayed in front of a worldwide audience.

Jarrett : 'I hate to embarrass you Bob, but I hope that's what it is I'm doing. You see, before Jeff Jarrett came along, that right there was where you were at. At Wrestlemania, *both* of you guys ended up being humiliated by a bunch of old men. Before I came along, you were *nothing*. April 19th, I won you the tag team titles by paying the Headhunters to take out the LOD. On April 20th, I cemented your reign by winning you your first defence. I took you to the *main event* of In Your House. Before Jeff Jarrett, I can't recall Bob Holly being in too many events, not in any promotion. Bob, the bottom line is this-'

'Do you smell what the Rock is cooking?'

Double J looks pissed at his rude interruption, as Maivia enters stage left. Staying at the top of the aisle, the Rock starts flexing those verbal muscles.

Rock : 'Hey Jeff, the Rock was out back, and you were spouting some retarded crap about Bob this and Austin that, but what really caught the Rock's attention was hearing the name of the Million Dollar Intercontinental Champion. And in case you're too far up your own candyass to realise who that is... I'm talking about the Rock! [grins]'

Jarrett : 'And your point is?'

Rock : 'Basically, the Rock's point is this : You see, the Rock doesn't enjoy much being told to leave town, and stay the hell away from something that The Rock quite frankly has his eye on. Even if it is a town full of trailer park trash like Philaelphia. When The Rock thinks about Philadelphia, The Rock thinks Bruce Springsteen said it best when he sang 'Man, this town is a pile of monkey ass retarded crap'. But, The Rock has wandered away from the point the Rock was trying to make, and that thing is this : Double J? You and me in *that* ring, tonight!'

Small crowd pop. Hey shut up, you're spoiling the show for everyone else.

Jarrett : 'Rocky, you're a damn fool. I'm the World Wrestling Federation Champion. You my [----]ed up friend, you're the WWF *Intercontinental* Champion. Maybe you can call me when you're on my level. To be perfectly honest Rock, I got much more important business to attend to.'

Rock : 'Much more important business? Ha, Jeff? I can have the Million Dollar Organisation out-numbering your guys, and kicking the living crap out of them all night if I want to. With the MDO in existence, I think you better learn that you never say no, no you *can't* say no, and you *won't* say no to The Rock.'

Jarrett : 'Firstly, I'm not scared of that stable of jobbers and mid-carders. Secondly, yeah, you can get a match tonight, but you better realise one thing. If you want the match, it's gonna be for *your* title, and *not* mine.'

Rock : 'To be honest, I think you're a piece of *complete* and *utter* chickenshit, but the Rock feels copacetic about that. You really think you can take The Rock's Million Dollar belt away from The Rock? The Rock thinks you've been taking way too many Stone Cold Stunners, if ya smell what the Rock is cooking!'

'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?'

Smells like a screwjob on the way. I guess I'm cynical.

Rocky leaves, and as Jarrett seems about to protest the playing of Maivia's music, we take our first commercial break.

[21:07] [Commercials] [21:09]

**Warning : Kayfabe is broken in next paragraph**

Ho hum, long interviews to start off Raw. I guess however much I try, I can't help but sub-consicuously steal what goes on in the real world. Now RealVince, here's something you must *not* do: Don't you *dare* make Owen and JJ job to the LOD at Wrestlemania, don't you fucking dare! Man, that would suck on so many levels.

Hey, we got a new main event! Jarrett vs The Rock for the second time in WWF history. Could Double J walk outta here tonight with both the world and Intercontinental titles?

It's opening match time.

'Yes Yes Yes... No No No....'

Harlem Heat's music may be cool, but I don't understand the yes/no stuff. Hey, it's Stevie Ray! Ready to dirt up our garden by wrestling his first match since February, when he got creamed by Booker, who then... spat on him. Let's just forget that ever happened and sing along - 'Yes Yes Yes... No No No...'

Harlem Heat vs Bobby Bradley/???

We never get to hear the name of the other jobber [don't you hate it when they don't mention the names on tv?], but that probably means the guy's crap. We'll call him Herb Kunze for the hell of it. Bradley and Booker start, leaving Kunze free to get his stopwatch out and act like an anally-retentive no-life whining loser. Okay, so it's actually Alan Stone and he doesn't have a stopwatch. Bradley starts this match off by giving Booker a knee to the chest, but his attempt at a fisherman suplex is blocked by T, who then hits a swinging neckbreaker. Booker drops a knee, talks to the crowd a bit, then climbs to the top and hits a flying clothesline. Cover, two count, side headlock from Booker. Bradley sends T into the ropes, leapfrogs the return, then hits an armdrag. Armbar from Bradley and- hey when did this guy take control? Still in the armbar. Hey, toss me a freaking bone guys, do *something*.

Booker eventually spins his way out of the armbar, and ends up executing a head scissors takedown on Mr. Bradley. Bradley gets dragged over to the Heat corner, and after a few stomps from Booker, Stevie Ray gets tagged in. Ray backs Bobby into the corner, and look at him go folks. PunchPunchPunchKickKickPunchEyeRakePunchPunch. Whip into the ropes, clothesline central. Sudden realisation : Harlem Heat kinda sucked. I made myself a promise that I wouldn't take any commercial breaks during matches in this show, so the match report continues. Two minutes in [Kunze : 3:30 including ring entrances. (What a dick, who counts ring entrances in match times? Herb that's who. What an idiot.)] Ray hits a backbreaker for a two count, and this match sucks the big one.

Stone doesn't get tagged in until over three minutes into the contest, and he makes a huge impression by nailing Stevie with a spinning DDT and a faceslam in quick succession. The latter earns a two count, and Stone then goes and hits a flying dropkick for good measure. He then tags Bradley in, and Bradley hits that fisherman suplex he attempted earlier, for two. Just wasn't perfect enough I'm afraid. Inverted atomic drop on the big lug, and Stone then re-enters and nails Ray with a bulldog. Stevie's getting the crap kicked out of him here. Luckily, the ref whispers to Bradley that this is Stevie's return and he should be getting some offence in, so Bobby promptly falls victim to a clothesline. Elbowsmash in the corner, whip into the opposite buckle leads to an avalanche clothesline. Tag to Booker, who half-asses it for a few moments before executing the Missile Dropkick for the three count.

Harlem Heat defeated Alan Stone and Bobby Bradley when Booker T pinned B. Bradley with the Missile Dropkick in 0:06:05. Rating: -*

Could you tell I got really bored with that match about half way through? Heat gets the win though, in their first match as a team in five months.

Newsflash from Jim Ross at the commentary booth : Tonight's main event between Jarrett and The Rock *must* have a winner. Well that's a relief. Footage is shown of the last time these two went at it, back at Wrestlemania I. Jarrett wins the match when Dustin Runnels [remember him?] cost Maivia the match, and the European title belt. Jarrett would go on to be stripped of that title the next night. Great start to *that* title lineage.

Hmmm. Three months ago, Jarrett and Rock fought over the European title. Three months later, Rocky's the IC Champ, and Jarrett's the *world* champ. I don't know, I just found that kinda interesting. I should be paying more attention to the history of my own fed, instead of being mildly surprised at things like that.

Footage from Raw of Marc Mero's comments towards our beloved European champion Adam Bomb is shown. Hmmm... A replay of a Marc Mero interview? It can only mean one thing! Ad break!

[21:20] [Commercials] [21:23]

Marc Mero's in the ring. I guess *that's* why his comments were replayed. We join his diatribe midway.

Mero : 'So Bomb, get your ass out here right now, put the title on the line, and accept that challenge!'

I guess we came in further in than mid-way if that's all that was left. Camera pans to the curtains, and here comes the champ. To a decent pop from the crowd. He's got the Euro title around his waist, and- oh oh gang beating coming up.

Coming up from beind, let's see : Mabel, Oulette, Adams and Vega are all there, and they start pounding the hell out of Bomb. Ouch, that splash from Mabel ain't gonna do Bomb any good. This lasts a full minute [Why isn't anybody helping? Officials? Police? Jimmy Smits? Bob Sagat? Henry Winkler? Anybody?] before they drag the champion to the ring, where the Marvelous One awaits, filled to the brim with girlish glee.

The MDO throw Bomb into the ring, and Mero pressures the referee to call for the bell. Bomb's out cold, but the ref starts the match anyway. What a jerk! Hehe, Mero just placed an envelope in the referee's front pocket. Disgusting.

WWF European Championship

Marc Mero vs Adam 'Fast Asleep' Bomb [c]

Well, Bomb had the indignity of being pinned by Hack Myers, so he may as well add to his resume a ridiculously quick loss of his second title. But no, Mero doesn't want this quick. He's a *smart* guy that's why. TKO! No cover. Mero goes on to hit four more and just toys with Bomb for a while, and it's getting really boring and obnoxious. Bomb isn't getting up from anything though, he's pretty much dead. Mero climbs up to the top turnbuckle-

'Kee-rash'

Before Mero can realise what's happening, Austin has run down the aisle, and he shoves Mero off the buckle. DQ! Hah! Mero's a damn fool. For good measure, Austin goes to the ref and nails him with a stunner, then steals the envelope from his pocket. Being a good guy, he rips it open and tosses some of the money into the crowd, then stays just long enough to beat up the oncoming MDO and then leaves. What a guy.

Marc Mero defeated Adam Bomb by DQ in 0:01:50

(Adam Bomb retains the WWF European Title) Rating : 1/2*

As Austin departs, the Organisation stand fuming in the ring, and start to take out their frustrations on Bomb but... Oh my god, he disappeared! Adam Bomb just vanished into thin air! This is unbelievable! Absolutely unbe- oh wait, there he is, he left through the crowd. Cough.

The IYH promo from Raw is shown, I don't think it needs to be reprinted in full.

Coming up next Monday night on Raw : All the usual suspects will be in town, plus Triple-H will return from suspension. He had *these* comments to make two weeks ago, resulting in said suspension.

Triple-H : '...And then you say some crap about how it's the 'same old shit, accusing the black man', well come on now Booker, despite all the conclusive evidence that says it was you who commited the desecration last week, statistics do prove that the majority of petty vandalism in this country, *is* carried out by blacks. And if you ask me, the World Wrestling Federtaion would be alright, if the World Wrestling Federation was all-white.'

[24 Karat Pictures Present]

[A Shattered Dreams Production]

[Goldust]

Goldust vs Chris Michaels

This is shaping up to be, in effect, the third squash match of the evening. Don't touch that dial though, as the Intercontinental title is gonna be on the line real soon. After a breif exchange that sees no clear advantage in this match, Michaels manages to catch Goldy in a sleeper! 15 seconds later, it's all forgotten, and Dustin takes control. Vigorous thigh rubbing from Goldust! Most of Goldust's offence comes from punches and boots in the corner, but he tosses in the occasional spinning DDT or bulldog to keep me entertained. Match goes nowhere of course, and after three minutes Goldust hits the Curtain Call [reverse DDT] for the win.

Goldust pinned Chris Michaels with the Curtain Call in 0:03:33. Rating: * 1/2

Where did Marlena disappear to? And where did Benoit go? Two questions. Same answer? I'm guessing we'll find out real soon. It's time for a break, but when we return, Sycho Sid.

[21:35] [Commercials] [21:37]

Quick announcement for Raw : The New Midnight Express defend the tag titles against The Headbangers. Mosh and Thrasher obviously earned that shot when they beat...

Sycho Sid vs Yuji Nagata

Yuji Nagata? What's *he* doing here? Oh well, he starts out with a dropkick on the big man right off the bat, but then blows an enzirguiri and that's pretty much it. Oh sure, the match lasts another two minutes, but as competitive contests go, this ain't one. After risking disqualification several times with a wide array of chokeholds, Sid ends it with a chokeslam/powerbomb combo. [Simpsons Qoute - Homer : 'He's dead *now*! Hahaha.']

Sid pinned Yuji Nagata with the Power Bomb in 0:02:18. Rating: -3/4*

A minus rating? God, Nagata's a useless sack of shit.

Clip : Vince announces that Austin and Michaels will face off at In Your House 4. From Raw [June 22nd].

The In Your House Promo is shown again. Can you tell I'm killing time?

'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?'

Here's the [IC] champ! On his own, so I guess we can expect the MDO run in a little later.

2001 Space Odyssey? Whoo!

Jarrett's in town. Accompanied by the Roadie, who's here for no other reason than to make sure the taxman knows he's still alive. Intercontinental title on the line! When we come back.

[21:44] [Commercials] [21:47]

Who knows what they were doing the past three minutes, but the bell rings as soon as we return.

WWF Intercontinental Championship

Jeff Jarrett [w/Jesse Jammes] vs Rocky Maivia [c]

It's champion versus champion, and it's a slow start to this one. Stalling and talking are the two most popular moves for both men in the early going, and the match time ticks past one minute before they lock up. Eye gouge from Rock gives him the advantage, and he ends up putting the world champ on the mat after whipping Jarrett into the ropes and nailing a clothesline. Cover? No, Rock decides the best course of action would be to pace around the ring, yelling at the crowd to stop that damn chant. The crowd does eventually shut up, but only after Jarrett comes from behind and puts Maivia down with a bulldog. Ha, now the crowd is chanting '*Jarrett* sucks', which pisses the hell out of the champ. What a negative crowd. Gutwrench suplex gets Jarrett a two count. Stomp Stomp Stomp, then Jeff sends Rocky for the ride, but Maivia ducks a clothesline. Rope reversal again, and Rock gets the advantage by armdragging Jarrett down and locking on an armbar.

Jarrett's quickly in the ropes suffice to say, but he ends up victim to an elbowdrop before he can get up to his feet. Kneedrop preludes another elbowdrop, and Jarrett then gets sent into the ropes again. Rake to Jeff's eyes stop his journey, and Rocky unloads some boots into Jarrett's mid-section before clotheslining him to the canvas again. Will the crowd *stop* chanting that? It's distracting the hell out of Maivia, and is slowing this contest down to boot. Rocky returns to the action by whipping JJ into the buckle, but when he runs in after him to get a closer look, Jarrett has already departed the scene. Maivia promptly goes straight into the corner, and Jarrett capitalises by wrapping the IC champion up into a sleeper hold. That ain't working for Jeff though, as Maivia backs him into the corner with Jarrett on his back, then breaks the hold by repeatedly swinging back with his elbow. Clothesline over the top, and Jarrett's now out on the floor! When is Jarrett gonna get into this match?

Jarrett and Jammes engage in conversation outside, before the Rock leaves the ring to join them, and gives the two a DOUBLE-NOGGIN-KNOCKER! IT'S THE 1980'S BABY! Jammes gets clotheslined out of the way, and Maivia then tosses Jeff back into the ring. When Rocky tries to follow Jarrett in though, Jammes returns to his feet and grabs Maivia's leg as he steps through the ropes. As Rock tries to shake off Jesse, Jarrett's now on his feet and nails his adversay with a high knee, gaining Jarrett the advantage. Inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline cements JJ's current hold on this match. Piledriver gets two, then it's wear down time as Jarrett puts on a headlock. Time goes by. Jarrett releases the hold and executes a vertical suplex for another two count. To the ropes, Rock ducks a clothesline, and continues into the ropes. Another clothesline gets ducked, and then another duck on the return. Then out of nowhere, Maivia nails a backspin DDT! Cover-

1...

2...

Uh, yeah right. Bodyslam from Rock, and with Jarrett in the centre of the ring, flat on his back, it's plain to see what's coming. Million Dollar Elbow coming up, and- NO! Jarrett moved out the way! Jeff Jarrett becomes the first man EVER- Nah, Rock hits it. Not even Jarrett deserves such a huge push as to actually get out of the way of the Elbow. Cover gets two. Whip attempt from Rocky, reversed by Jarrett. Jarrett ducks a clothesline, turns, and Double J gets back in this match by hitting a dropkick. Maivia's quickly up though, but another dropkick sends him down again. Rocky's a little slower getting to his feet this time, so Jarrett decides to go up top. TRIPLE-SOMERSAULT-MOONSAULT! I'm daydreaming again. Jarrett actually manages to jump right into position for the RockBottom, but a swift kick to the Rock's groin ends the danger.

Figure four coming! Jarrett wraps the leg up as the camera pans to the aisle, where surprise surprise, our interference is on the way. Courtsey of Mabel, Brian Adams and Pierre Oulette. Don't these guys have anything *better* to do than interfere tonight? Jarrett breaks the hold after only a few seconds and goes over to the ropes to politely tell the Organisation to piss off. The MDO wait in the aisle as Jeff looks on, and when a hand taps Jarrett on the shoulder, Jeff thinks it's The Rock and swings back with his elbow and pretty much knocks Earl Hebner right out. Good one Jeff, 'cos now the MDO are re-continuing their walk down the aisle. As the three men enter the ring, and Jarrett looks at four to two [as Jammes jumps into the squared circle] odds here, the TitanTron cuts to a shot backstage, as we see why Bart Gunn hasn't come to help.

Gunn's in a hell of a mess. Based on the wreckage, someone attacked him backstage and put the guy through a table. All signs point to it being the work of the MDO, but then we see a Mr. Bob Holly walking away from Gunn in the background. Back to the action, and the two Double J's are getting the hell kicked out of them. Jarrett is out cold, and Jammes gets tossed out to ringside, before the Organisation, with the exception of The Rock makes their way back down the aisle. They get met halfway though as-

'Kee-rash'

As if you didn't see Austin interfering in this one. Austin beats the three men up in the aisle, then progresses to the ring. He sneaks up behind Maivia, who's currently yelling abuse at the laid out Jeff Jarrett, and promptly spins him round and stunners him. Both men are down, but Austin decides that before he leaves, he'll revive Jarrett! Why? Austin spends a while making sure Jarrett's up on his feet and ready to continue the fight, and then of course, boots him in the chest and stunners him. Both men are out, and Austin departs, whatever he wanted to accomplish out here, obviously accomplished. Hey, look who woke up! Conveniently enough, as Austin disappears, Hebner is pretty much back up on his feet. In time to see Rocky crawl over to Jarrett and drape his arm over the World Champion-

1...

2...

3

Rocky Maivia pinned Jeff Jarrett with the Rock Bottom in 0:08:10. Rating: ** 1/4

(Rocky Maivia retained the WWF Intercontinental Title)

Jesse Jammes returns to the ring to tend to Jarrett as we fade out.

It's now two hours after Wrestlemania XV. Owen and Jeff *didn't* job to the LOD [phew], and someone actually *did* move out of the way of the Rock's Elbow! Incredible.