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WWF Thunder : July 2nd 1998 : Cleaveland, Ohio

Ohio gets up on their collective feet as they welcome WWF Thunder! Hey guess what? Jarrett *ain't* here! Repeat : Jarrett *ain't* here! So instead of kicking things off with the champion, it's now time for something completely different : A match!

Jeff Hardy vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley

And *what* a match! Helmsley's back, and as he makes his way to the ring, we see footage from Monday's Booker T incident. Hardy doesn't get an entrance at all, which kinda gives away the finish to this match.

Lockup, and Hardy grabs the upper hand by armdragging Hunter down, but Helmsley soon averts the attempted armbar. Hunter's up, rake to the eyes of Jeff, then a whip into the ropes. Helmsley finds himself on the canvas again as Hardy knocks him down with a clothesline on the return, and Jeff then tries to get a rise out of the fans. No luck. He pulls Hunter up, nails him in the face with his fist, then tosses him through the ropes to the floor. Flying cross body press to the outside! It connects, but Hardy acts foolish by trying a second, and ends up connecting with nothing but the concrete floor. Piledriver from Helmsley! Ouch.

Hunter whips Jeff into the guardrail, then stupidly tries a dropkick, and results in not only missing Hardy, but hitting the concrete hard. Jeff drags his ass back into the ring and gets his head straight after the piledriver, and he's followed in a few seconds later by Helmsley. Hardy has the upper hand though, and moments later takes HHH down with a spinning headscissors. Pickup, right hand, dropkick, first cover of the match gets Jeff a two count. Hardy pulls Hunter up again, and gets met with a right hand to the groin when he does. Numerous forearm smashes from Hunter. I'm bored. Kneelift. Kneedrop. Two count. Whip to the ropes, and Jeff catches him with a swinging DDT!

No cover, Jeff's going up top. Took a little too long though, Hunter makes it up to his feet and nails Hardy with a right hand as he stands up on the top buckle. Jeff falls down and crotches himself, but that's all forgotten moments later, as Helmsley pulls him down to the mat via a superplex. Two count for Hunter. Not long after, Helmsley gets another two count with a piledriver, and Hardy looks out of it. Boston crab is applied! As Jeff looks on the verge of giving up, Helmsley simply releases the hold, and drops an elbow across Hardy's back. Mucho stalling now from Hunter. Just hit the damn Pedigree already. Okay, here we go.

Hardy counters with a backdrop! Both men are quick up to their feet, but Jeff floors Hunter with a right hand! Hunter get's right up, but Jeff then nails him with another right hand! Whip into the ropes, and a dropkick puts Helmsley down again! Armdrag takedown, then another dropkick! Hardy's on fire! Springboard ropeflip moonsault! Cover-

1...

2...

Kickout. Jeff's not deterred, another whip into the ropes, and a shoulderblock has Hunter on the canvas. Another cover, one count. Jeff picks Helmsley up and places him on the top turnbuckle. Superplex coming up! Oh, but Hunter shoves him off the buckle, and Hardy goes down hard. Helmsley sits up top and catches his breath for a while, until Jeff gets up to his feet, at which point Hunter nails him with a flying clothesline. Then, the second Pedigree attempt of the night is successful. End.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley pinned Jeff Hardy with the Pedigree in 0:06:38. Rating: * 1/4

So Helmsley gets the win to kick off Thunder, and we'll be hearing from Booker T later on in the show. Also tonight, Davey Boy Smith, Owen Hart, and Marc Mero will be in action, as well as a whole lot more. Steve Austin and Shawn Michaels are in the building tonight, and there's bound to be something happening *there*. They're gonna face each other at In Your House 4, but there's been a second match announced for the pay-per-view. European title on the line : Champion Adam Bomb defends against Marc Mero, Sycho Sid and Fit Finlay in a four corners match. DUD in the making? Fit Finlay had these comments to make earlier today :

Finlay : 'Four man match at In Your House? I got no problem with that, and I'll have no problem beating all three of 'em, one by one. Sid may be a big man, but he doesn't have the raw wrestling power that I do. He may have world titles under his belt, but he didn't grow up in a place where you had to fight your own flesh and blood just to put bread on your plate. Technically, I didn't either, but I still grew up tough. As for Adam Bomb, same story. He may be a big man, but I'm the better athlete. And Marc Mero? Pah, not worth my breath.'

There'll be another match announced for In Your House later in the show, but right now, it's time for a break. When we come back, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin!

[21:10] [Commercials] [21:12]

'Kee-rash'

It's all becoming so routine. Austin heads to the ring, fresh off the tag team victory on Monday night. There was friction between Austin and Michaels though, obviously, near the end.

Austin : 'You know what Cleaveland? You're looking at a guy who's pretty pissed off about Monday's events. See, I had Jarrett down and out, and yet you cost *me* the pinfall by yakking it up with the referee. Then you come in, nail Rock with the Superkick , and that's it. And as for you not helping me out as Jarrett smashed me over the head with a chair after the bell, well that don't sit too well! So Shawn, you want to get your washed up, no-good ass out here, we'll talk a few things out. '

'Oh... Oh... Shawn! '

HBK arrives, showboats, does his mid-ring pose, then finally turns his attention to Austin.

Michaels : 'Now. Austin? Again, you call me washed up, but it was *my* superkick that won the match Monday night. I got the pinfall, even though I was already tired from having to carry your ass to a ten minute match. I superkicked *both* those two assholes, and I'm gonna do the same to *you* in two weeks time. You see, I think you've got your definitions all screwed up. You're confusing *washed up*, with *next World Wrestling Federation Champion*, and that's the bottom line! '

Austin : '<laughs> Shawn, you pile o' shit, if you'd get out of your own ass and open your eyes to the situation, you'd realise that what you just said was pure shit. Hell Shawn, you lost to Douglas, Helmsley, Jarrett, Sid, and you looked bad doin' it. Remember May 17th? Whilst I was taking out Sid in a steel cage, you couldn't even take out the Midnight Express with a 3 on 2 advantage. So to be perfectly frank, you talk about screwed up definitions, after I get through beating the hell outta ya, I'm gonna take a goddamn dictionary, and ram it right up your ass! '

Michaels : ' If you're so inclined to dismiss me as nothing more than a nobody, then Austin? How about me and you lock it up tonight? If you think I can't beat anybody, then you'll have no qualms about stepping into this ring on Thunder. Or are you just a bullshitting chickenshit? '

Austin : ' Qualms? Let's all stand and look at the posh jackass who walks about saying *qualms*. Hell, I ain't got a problem with taking you out tonight, it'll be a goddamn pleasure to beat your ass beyond repair. Don't bet on making it to In Your House. '

Michaels : ' Well Austin, you *may* have torn a lot of asses beyond repair, if you will, but tonight's a whole different ballgame. This ain't pleasure hour on Channel 69, this is WWF Thunder, and tonight? Stone Cold is gonna be *out* cold. '

Austin : ' I'll show you out cold you son of a bitch-'

Boot, Stunner! Michaels is out, Kee-rash, next segment please.

Austin departs, and about thirty seconds later, we get Chris Michaels heading to ringside. Who's this guy? Wait, here comes Marc Mero. Oh I get it, it's a Mero squash.

Marc Mero vs Chris Michaels

Well kinda, Michaels gets off right away with a jawbreaker on Mero. Moments later he gets a two count with a flying bodypress. Dropkick, suplex, hotshot, Michaels is on fire, and faring a lot better than his namesake, who's busy shaking off the effects of that stunner. The match spills to the floor, where upon Michaels has the nerve to execute the Superkick on Mero. Mero's getting a real ass-whooping so far, and when the action returns to the ring he nearly gets pinned following a springboard splash. Chris decides to then take it to the floor again, and that's when the tide turns.

A flying dropkick to the floor is a riske move at best, but it helps when your opponent stays nicely in position. Mero didn't, and that explains why Michaels is currently rolling around on the floor, holding his back. Mero capitalises by throwing his opponent into the ringsteps, then it's back to the ring for a vertical suplex. He sets him up for another, but Michaels blocks, and hits a small package for-

1...

2...

And out. Michaels gets up and dishes out a clothesline as the USA Network dishes out a commercial break.

(21:20) [Commercials] (21:22)

We're back, and Michaels has Mero in a standing wristlock. Mero's soon in the ropes though, but it's only a few seconds later that he gets caught up in a sleeperhold. The end result sees the match continue, but Mero looks the worse for wear and I'm really blowing through this match at this point. Bodyslam from Michaels, then it's up to the top rope for a flying elbowdrop, which is apparently Michaels' finisher in whatever Indy promotion he comes from. This ain't the indies pal, two count only. Michaels seems in a little bit of shock that Mero kicked out, and ends up being rolled up from behind for a two count as he debates the referee's previous count.

Out of the rollup, Mero jumps up to his feet and clocks Michaels with a lariat. There's a breif lag in movement here, as Chris lies on the mat, and Mero pauses to get his head back together after basically being dominated for this match. But right now, he's going up top. MarVelocity! Goodnight.

Marc Mero pinned Chris Michaels with the MarVelocity in 0:06:31. Rating: * 1/4

Mero gets the win. Two matches tonight, two extended squashes. Mero got his ass kicked in that last match though, Chris Michaels may be one to keep an eye on. Probably not though.

Promo : WWF In Your House 4 'The Last Chance Saloon' - July 19th

Clip : Shawn Michaels nails Rocky Maivia with the SuperKick, and gets the pinfall in Monday night's tag match.

Booker T had these comments to make, taped oh, about ten minutes ago :

Booker : ' Hey Triple-H, I saw you out there earlier in the show, I guess they lifted your suspension or some shit, and let you back into the World Wrestling Federation. It's bullshit, but if you're here, I might as well compensate by making your life as close to hell as possible sucka. You see Helmsley, one thing you don't do here in the WWF, is disrespect Booker T. It's funny, for a split second on Monday night, I thought that maybe you were a decent guy. Turns out I was wrong. Hunter, I've kicked your bastard ass before, so bring it to In Your House if you've got the balls, and I'll teach you a goddamn lesson! '

Back to live action, and we have former WWA Television Champion Robert Thompson in the ring. His opponent, Vader!

Vader vs Robert Thompson

Vader hasn't been seen since King Of The Ring, but he's on a mission tonight. Lock-up, and Vader scoops up bodyslams his opponent right away. Chokeslam! He covers, but then decides to pull him up at two. I know he's trying to make a point, but why cover him at all when you're gonna pick him up anyway? The big man drags Thompson over to the corner of the ring, then crushes him with a splash from the second rope. Another chokeslam, then he shoves Thompson into the corner and starts clubberin' him. Whip into the ropes, then a clothesline puts Thompson down again. VaderBomb coming up. And there it is. End.

Vader pinned Robert Thompson with the Vader Bomb in 0:02:14. Rating: **

Is this squash night on Raw? Vader picks up the victory, but what's with the chokeslams? Is he trying to send some kind of message to Sid? Who knows, what I do know is that still to come tonight, Steve Austin will take on the HeartBreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!

Clip : Austin and Michaels have a verbal disagreement, leading to Michaels falling victim to the stunner, from earlier tonight.

It's WWF Flashback time. Set your clocks back to January 26th...

Double J makes his singles debut in the World Wrestling Federation with an impressive victory over one half of the Midnight Express. Jarrett controls this match, going to work on Hollys leg for the majority of it. Jarretts gameplan works and ten minutes in he applies his patented figure four for the win.

Jeff Jarrett defeated Bob Holly with the figure four in 10-15 Rating : **.75

I felt it was fairly topical. I thought Jarrett said he brought Holly to the WWF? It seems strange he'd face him in his first match. Jarrett talking shit as usual I presume. The British Bulldog is in action next!

(21:37) [Commercials] (21:39)

Davey Boy Smith vs Barry Horowitz

That sound you can hear is the crowd leaving after the fourth jobber match of the evening. Hey guys, Austin/Michaels is on the way! Smith takes Barry down with a shoulderblock, then flexes his muscles for all the crowd to see. Those that are left. Smith then executes an atomic drop, then a dropkick. Horowitz gets taken up for a Gorilla press, but he manages to slide down his back, then execute a German suplex on the Bulldog. He let's go of Davey Boy though, and there's no cover. Feeling a sudden burst of energy, Barry starts hanmering at Smith with right hands, then nails a flying clothesline! Small package roll up follows for two. Horowitz then clotheslines Davey over the top rope, then slaps himself on the back for a job well done.

Smith seems to take offense at this moment of self congratulation, and when he returns to the ring it's a different story. Horowitz tries to charge at the Bulldog with a clothesline, but Smith ducks, and ends up turning and nailing Barry with one of his own. Whip into the ropes, then a dropkick from Davey Boy. Biiiiiiiiiiiiig suplex from Smith, giving Horowitz about twenty seconds of airtime. Okay Davey, wrap it up. Moments later, Smith hits the running powerslam for the three count.

Davey Boy Smith pinned Barry Horowitz with the Running Powerslam in 0:03:14. Rating: **

We cut backstage at this time, as we see Brian Adams and Mabel watching a tv monitor in the back. Currently playing on said tv is the earlier interview between Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin. Are they on some kind of tape delay? Or was this recorded earlier? Regardless, the two members of the MDO seem interested in the proceedings.

Chris Chetti is backstage with Mikey Cole.

Cole : ' I'm standing here with the former WWF Cruiserweight champion Chris Chetti, and Chris? The announcement was made by the WWF board earlier today, In Your House 4, it's gonna be yourself, Jerry Lynn and a returning Rey Mysterio Jr in a triple threat match. Whoever wins will face Devon Storm for the title later in the night. Your thoughts? '

Chetti : ' It's gonna be a great match, I can't wait to get it on with both of 'em.'

Cole : ' You have to admit, Chris, your form has dropped a bit lately. Storm beat you with no assistance at the King Of The Ring, then the loss to Jerry Lynn the next night on Raw. Are you confident of winning at In Your House? '

Chetti : ' Let me tell you something Michael, I'll win where it counts. And that's at In Your House. Besides, I proved I could beat Devon Storm this past week on Raw. As for the other two guys, it's gonna be a great contest, I respect them both. With Rey, it'll be great to get in the ring with him, 'cos I got something to prove there. I only won this title 'cos Mysterio got injured, it'll make me feel like more of a champion if I put him down for the three count. Like I said, it'll be a great fight, and I can't wait. '

Cole : ' Back to ringside. '

Next week on Raw : Owen Hart vs Brian Christopher in a match that was due to take place tonight, but was bumped due to time constraints.

Promo : WWF In Your House 4 ' The Last Chance Saloon ' - July 19th

'Oh... Oh... Shawn! '

The HeartBreak Kid heads to the ring, and we go to our final commercial break of the evening.

(21:46) [Commercials] (21:48)

We return to see one hell of a commotion in Austin's dressing room. Seems Austin had some unwanted visitors, those being the Million Dollar Organisation. During the break, Austin got hammered by messrs Mero, Adams and Vega, and looks in no condition to wrestle. The scene is currently full of officials and the odd paramedic, as whatever the MDO attacked Stone Cold with, ended up leaving a sizeable amount of blood.

So now what? Michaels is in the ring, but-

'Say Mabel! '

The big man enters the ring with a grin, and Michaels has a brief discussion with the referee as Mabel makes his entrance. Whether Shawn agreed to wrestle Mabel or not, the bell rings as Mabel attacks Michaels from behind. Ah, the old bait and switch, but I'm sure the fans wanted to see Mabel *much* more than Austin right? Right? Doh.

Steve Austin [ Mabel ] vs Shawn Michaels

Mabel starts to pound on HBK's back, then whips him into the ropes. Clothesline attempt from the big man, unsuccessful! Michaels ducks, then starts nailing Mabel with right hand after right hand! Mabel staggers. Shawn runs into the ropes, comes back with a dropkick! Mabel staggers more. Flying clothesline! Mabel is down! Michaels makes like Razor with the 'me-me-me-me-me-me-yeah! ' as Mabel lies on his back.

Backstage : Hey, they're putting Austin on a stretcher! What did they *do* to him? Our cameras weren't on hand, but they're here now, interrupting the current main event. Hey, coincidence, Austin is just starting to regain consciousness as we jojn the scene.

Austin : ' What the- Hey, what the hell? You ain't putting me on no goddamn stretcher.'

Paramedic 1 : ' Austin please, we have to get you medical attention! '

Austin : ' I'll give you medical attention-'

Austin jumps up and stunners the doc, then collapses to the floor, 'cos he is actually hurt. He starts to get up to his feet as we go back to the ring.

Where Mabel has Shawn in a bearhug. Looks like Michaels lost the advantage while we were away. Yawn, just look at this bearhug go. Hey, there's Austin!

Austin staggers down the aisle, and into the ring, where he nails Mabel from behind. Mabel turns, and executes a belly to belly suplex on him! Austin's out on the canvas, and meanwhile Michaels has recovered from the yawn-bearhug, and is tuning up some music. Why didn't the ref dq Michaels for Austin entering the ring? Whatever, Michaels nails the SuperKick-

1..

2..

3

Shawn Michaels pinned Mabel with the Superkick in 0:02:46. Rating: ** 1/4

Austin is still down in the ring, and it's Michaels standing above both him and Mabel. The rest of the MDO [minus The Rock] storm to ringside as we fade out.

So what was the point in that? Hell, I don't know. What I *do* know, is that that was the worst WWF card in a long while. Some things sound good in your head that turn out crap. That's just the way it is. Raw will be better, promise.