We start with clips from Raw, as Jeff Jarrett defends his heavyweight title over Booker T, and as the New Age Outlaws make the save on Harlem Heat at the show's conclusion.

- Opening Credits

On the show tonight, the Outlaw's will be on hand, plus Marty Jannetty will make his WWF debut, Owen Hart will face Pierre Oulette, Fit Finlay meets Stevie Ray, Chris Chetti will face Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and we'll be hearing from the maniacal Sycho Sid! We're gonna kick things off though, with the HeartBreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!

'Oh... Oh... Shawn!'

Why yes, he *is* getting more on-screen time now that he's retired. But what's this about?

Michaels : 'Oakland, Califooooooornia!'

Yadda yadda crowd pop.

Michaels : 'Now, as the current head announcer, slash, interviewer
            here in the WWF, [Could someone have told me about this?
            - Lee] I  thought my first interviewees, if you will, would
            be a certain tag team. A certain tag team who had a
            certain reunion at a certain pay-per-view. Ladies and
            gentlemen, The New Age Outlaws!'

'Oh You Didn't Know?'

The Outlaws hit the ring. Jammes looks apprehensive as he enters, but Michaels extends his hand, and the Roadog is quick to shake it.
 
Michaels : 'Now I know, you two have some things to say, so I'll
            let you get to it. All I had to do to get my pay cheque
            was make a thirty second intro! I got it made!'

Shawn passes his microphone to Gunn, and goes over to the announcers table. Camera goes back to Gunn.

Billy : 'Oakland, give us some of that California Love!'

Pop.

Billy : 'Now on Monday night, the New Age Outlaws, that being BA
         Billy Gunn and Double J Jesse Jammes, we had a litle run
         in with the  Harlem Heat. And this coming week, we got a
         match against those two *sucka's* this week on Raw. And
         we're gonna kick their damn asses!'

Jammes takes the mic.

Jammes : 'But here in this sunshine state, we got one thing on our
          minds. It ain't the double-H, it's the double-B. We're
          calling out the New Midnight Express, right here, right
          now!'

Billy : 'Come on down!'

2001 Space Oddysey? Whoo!

Well it ain't the Midnight Express, but we've got an unscheduled appearance from the world champeen. Jarrett working the b-show? Are you feeling honoured? I am.

Jarrett : 'Listen to me very carefully boys. Jesse, you had your
           little reunion on Sunday night, now get the hell off my
           show. You  want my Midnight Express here tonight? Well
           let me tell you something. You don't deserve a shot at
           the tag team titles, you  haven't won a damn match
           since whenever. You're both nothing but  a pair of jobbers,
           and Jammes, the only thing you've ever been half good at is
           being a lackey boy.'

Jammes floors Jarrett with a right! Jammes goes down and dishes out some more punishment to the champ, but now the NME are in the ring! Holly knocks Billy to the mat, and Bart goes after Jammes. Jarrett makes his usual quick exit and... the bell rings?

Match 1 : World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship
The New Midnight Express [c] vs The New Age Outlaws

Hmmm. I'm not sure if the NME consented to this, but the on screen graphic announces that this is a title match. Anyway, we've got all four men in the ring, and it's the Express who have conrtol after the sneak attack. Bart has Jammes in one corner, Holly pounding on BA in
the other, and they go to whip the Outlaws into each other.

Natch that, it's reversed, and the tag champs go clattering into each other! Billy then pulls his brother to his feet and tosses him over the top rope. Looks like we're gonna finally settle into a one on one pattern here, it's Jesse Jammes up against Bombastic Bob. Or is it Bodacious
Bob? Or is it not at all important? No, I didn't think so.

Jammes whips the man who so disapointed him this past week at the pay-per-view into the buckle, then follows in with a clothesline. Right hand jabs from the Roadog, but Bombastically Bodacious Bob counters by kneeing Jesse in the face, then putting him down with a kneelift. Holly
doesn't capitalise though, he shakes off the effects of Jammes' punches, allowing his opponent to get back to his feet.

Now we get a standard lock up. Jammes forces Bob into the corner, ends up giving a clean break, and well, that was pretty pointless. Second lockup, Holly gets Jammes in a headlock, but the Roadog pushes him into the ropes. Shoulderblock puts JJ on the mat, but he's right back up.
Holly comes off the ropes to try and hit a clothesline, but Jammes ducks and then nails one of his own!

Holly goes down, and Jammes quickly covers for two. Roadog secures on a front facelock, as I realise I've started this show off with a match instead of a long interview. What the hell am I THINKING? As Jammes continues to apply the hold, Ross makes note of the last time these
two teams went at it. It was February 16th when The NME came out on top, thanks to some interference by a bunch of people I can't name now for legal reasons.

Holly'd now out of the hold, and a gruesome kick to the groin kills Jammes' advantage. Bob with the tag to Bart, but it's countered right away as Jesse crawls over to tag *his* partner! It's brother against brother! Hell fire and Brimstone! Well, maybe not. We get a nose to
nose face off, then- well what the crapperoony is this? Harlem Heat are in the ring, and they both take down a Gunn brother each. Typical Raw ending I suppose.

The New Midnight Express and The New Age Outlaws battled to a no contest
in 0:03:12.
Rating: 1/4*

Three minutes, wow that was quick. Harlem Heat put the Gunn's on the canvas, but they end up getting attacked by Holly and Jammes! They team up to beat on the "ol' double-H', then turn towards beating each other up! Well, this is a bit of a mess here, let's take a break.

[Commercials]

We're back, and Owen Hart is backstage.

Hart : 'You know what? Last Sunday night, you better believe the
        mDo got me all fired up. And after Davey Boy got robbed of
        his title shot on Raw, and Mabel took the title, you better
        believe that fired me up even MORE! But tonight, I'm gonna let
        all that rage out, I'm gonna take Pierre Oulette, I'm gonna
        stick him in the Sharpshooter, and I won't be letting
        go until he's suffered as much as Bulldog did last week.
        Pierre? I'm taking you out tonight, and on Monday, Davey Boy's
        gonna do the same thing to Mabel, and the European title. Woo!'

Hart will be taking on Oulette in this week's main event later on tonight. Like Owen mentioned though, we've got a new WWF European Champion. Four months after Adam Bomb defeated Rocky Maivia to win the title, Mabel ended the reign after some blatant interference by 'Marvelous' Marc Mero. Let's go back to Raw.

[The final thirty odd seconds of the Mabel/Bomb match is shown.]

That was such a great match, continuing the awesome legacy the European title is ammassing. Oh yeah, remember that brawl that the Heat, the Outlaws and the Express had earlier. Well, they apparently fought to the backstage area, and are currently still going at it!

We cut to the back to see that, yes indeed, that previous paragraph was indeed accurate. We're shown several seconds of generic brawling between the teams, Booker T ramming Bob Holly's face into a wall, when we cut to a pre-recorded interview with the smart fan's favourite : 'Hacksaw' Jim Duggan.

Duggan : 'The time is getting nearer, and in just a few days ol'
          Hacksaw is gonna be lacing it up with the best of the WWF.
          People always ask me, Hacksaw, can ya still cut it, can ya
          still hold your own against the top dogs? And I tell 'em,
          son, whether I win or lose, that ain't important. All
          that's important to me, [holds the Stars and Stripes to the
          camera] is this flag, and all the fans here in the USA. I
          might be in there with someone bigger than me, tougher than me,
          smarter than me, but as long as I got *this*, I can go out
          there with ma head held high, and I can walk back out the
          same way. USA, all the way, tough guy! Hooo!'

So Owen ended with a Wooo, Duggan ended with a Hooo, and I have no point, despite thinking I did when I started the sentence.

Summerslam 1998 is just three and a half weeks away! Call your local cable company ASAP if you want to be a part of the live WWF action, exclusively on pay-per-view! See the much anticipated rematch between 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin, and the world champion, Jeff Jarrett!

Back to JR again, and he runs down the card for this coming Monday Night Raw, eminating live from Anaheim, again in Cali. Goldust will be defending his ill-gotten Intercontinental title-

*quick question break*

Reader : So if Benoit wasn't the second Goldust a few weeks ago, who was?
Lee : Uh... well... I... er... you see... I'll get back to ya.

- Intercontinental title against The Rock, Davey Boy Smith will hopefully be fit enough to challenge Mabel for the European title, Harlem Heat will meet The New Age Outlaws, and Sycho Sid, who we'll be hearing from later tonight, will be in action as well. Plus the usual time filling crap, you know, like this paragraph right here.

We cut backstage to see the three teams still going at it. Erm, hello, security? But the camera quickly moves away from this chaotic scene, as Chris Benoit enters from the arena doors on the left. Hmmm....

'Ahahaha... Money, Money, Money, Money...'

Savio Vega makes his way to the ring. He'll be taking on, in his WWF debut, Marty Jannetty.

Time for the second match of the evening. Any big pyro for Jannetty's entrance? That would be cool- Oh wait, he's already in the ring.

Match 2 : Savio Vega vs Marty Jannetty

Jannetty, clad in his old Rockers attire, locks up with Savio. Michaels notes at ringside how good Marty looks. Lawler decides that this is blatant sucking up from Shawn, and that HBK will praise anybody if he thinks it'll get his wrestling job back. Vega with a foot to Marty's chest, and he goes to scoop slam Jannetty, but Marty wraps him up in a small package.

It's a two count, sparing an amazingly quick debut for Jannetty. Damn this, I have the entire Back To The Future soundtrack spinning round my head, I *knew* this would happen! Marty goes for a suplex to grab the advantage in this one, but Vega with a right hand to the mid-section. Savio takes him to the corner, and gives out a few more right hands, before Jannetty
fires back, matching him punch for punch.

Jannetty starts hammering Vega more than Savio can hit back, and ends up taking him down with a German suplex for his second two count of the contest. Vega kicked out of that one, and he kicks out of the second one, as Jannetty hits another German suplex. 'We're gonna be back in ti-i-ime.' Keeping Vega down on the mat, Marty holds him down and dishes out a few fists, then executes a legdrop off the ropes.

And up he goes to the top rope. Flying off the top like an 'Earth Angel', Marty hits a flying cross body press. Well, kinda hits it, more like Savio catches him, and spins round executing a powerslam. Cover for two. Vega with a reverse chinlock, as I start to wonder once again whether Michael J. Fox really played that Johnny B. Goode solo. That rocked. 'Marty, that was very... interesting music.' Oh sorry, am I kind of ruining Jannetty's debut here? Well if it's tainted already, might as well take a break.

[Commercials]

Jannetty's now out of the hold, and he whips Savio into the ropes. Clothesline from Marty, and a quick cover for one. Pickup, Jannetty sends him into the buckle. He follows in with a dropkick. Taking a step up to the second rope, Jannetty gives Savio nine right hands, but before the
tenth, which the crowd counts anyway, Vega grabs Marty and gives him an atomic drop. Vega takes a moment to get his head straight as Jannetty holds his groin in pain.

The California crowd [you know, Oakland's kind of a 'Time Bomb Town'] has started to get behind Marty a hell of a lot, showing how much of a fantasy fed this is. Vega pulls Jannetty up to a standing position, and goes to hit with an Irony-Charged Superkick, but Marty ducks and manages to nail one of his own. Michaels : 'What a move!'

Jannetty doesn't cover though, he takes his time picking Vega up, then slams him and goes to the top rope. Unlike earlier, Jannetty's successful this time, hitting a flying elbowdrop! He covers, but Vega gets his foot on the bottom rope at two. Marty with a sleeper hold. Vega looks like he's going out, his arm eventually goes down once, goes down twice, but yadda
yadda. Savio gets his arm up, naturally, and Jannetty immediately releases the hold.

That was sporting of him. I doubt the nW- mDo is as sporting, as we see Brian Adams enter the area. He walks down the aisle and takes a standing position at ringside. Jannetty let's Vega get up to his feet, then nails him with a dropkick. Damn, I really want me a hoverboard.
'Little girl! I need to borrow your... hoverboard?' Savio goes down to the canvas, and Jannetty drops a kneedrop.

Jannetty tries to come off the ropes, and gets tripped by BA, Crush, Adams, whatever you want to call him. Hey, I've seen this finish before, I'm sure of it. Jannetty gets to his feet and looks pissed at Adams, but before he can do anything about it, Savio spins him round, hits him
with the Carribean Kick, and that's all Lee wrote.

Savio Vega pinned Marty Jannetty with the Carribbean Kick in 0:07:12.
Rating: 1/4*

Vega and Adams make a quick exit as the music plays. Hennig helps Marty up to his feet as the nW- mDo leaves. Great debut there Jannetty, but at least you reminded me of the GREATEST movie series in history. Screw the pompous arrogance of George Lucas and his braindead cartoon movies, the adventures of Marty McFly and Doc Brown are much more exciting. Ah, movie rants kick ass.

Our next match is Fit Finlay against Stevie Ray, in the match WE THOUGHT WE'D *NEVER* SEE!! Admit it, you've been begging for Nash to book this one. Anyway, that's the next contest, but first we need to eat up loads of time.

We go to Michael Cole backstage.

Cole : 'Back here, earlier tonight, we had Harlem Heat, the New
        Midnight Express and the New Age Outlaws brawling it out. The
        situation though, is now in control, and the teams have
        been seperated. Stevie Ray's gonna be fine for this next
        match-'

Jeff Jarrett enters the area.

Jarrett : 'Let me just say something here Michael. Harlem Heat and
           The New Age Outlaws? You jump my tag team champions? You
           attack the Midnight Express backstage, try to put them out
           of action? Well both of you teams have crossed the line here
           tonight, and the NME are gonna wipe the floor with ya both.
           You guys want a title shot, well this Monday, when you try
           and beat the hell out of each other, who ever wins, they
           can get a shot at Bart and Bob's belts at Summerslam.
           Happy?'

Jarrett leaves the area.

Cole : 'Back to ringside.'

Well, looks like we can add the NME vs either Harlem Heat or the Outlaws to the Summerslam card, which so far features Austin against Jarrett and... well, that's it so far.

Lee's Promotional Considerations : Pepsi Max, Morrison's Cornish Pasties,
                                   Megadeth's 'Risk', Stephen King's 'The
                                   Stand', Back To The Future Trilogy

We go back to footage of King Of The Ring 1998, as Austin and Jarrett went at it the first time.

'Bart Gunn's running down the aisle! Austin whips Jarrett into the ropes again, but Jarrett holds on the top rope. Austin charges at him with a clothesline, and both men end up going over the top to the floor! Bart Gunn runs round and rolls Jarrett back in the ring right away, and what's Shawn doing?' ... 'Michaels helps Austin up to his feet. Then he
Superkicks him!' ... 'Gunn tosses Austin into the ring, as Jarrett ends his conversation with the referee. The champion sets up for the figure four, but when he looks down at Austin he see's it isn't neccessary. He hooks the leg.'

Jarrett retained the title that night, and Austin will certainly be looking for revenge on August 16th at Summerslam. Let's go back to Monday Night Raw.

[Footage of the Jarrett/Austin interview from Raw is shown.]

Lee glances at his watch. Time for another match?

We go to more clips from Raw, as 'Marvelous' Marc Mero costs Fit Finlay his match against the Rock. We'll be back.

[Commercials]

'Yes Yes Yes... No No No...'

Stevie's on his way down, Fit's already in the ring, let's go.

Match 3 : Stevie Ray vs Fit Finlay

Lockup, and Stevie takes it, booting Finlay in the groin, then raking his eyes. Ray comes off the ropes, but Fit knees him in the chest, then dropkicks him down! Ray goes to the floor, and paces about for a while before returning. Stevie should be having no problems about this match,
after all he beat Vader on Sunday! I doubt the readership of this page has quite forgiven me for that yet.

Ray returns, and soon gets trapped in an armbar by the Irishman. Fit works it for a while, then- Hmm, we have an unexpected visitor here.

Chris Benoit hits the ring, pulls Finlay off of Ray, and belly to belly suplexes him! Stevie gets to his feet to take care of this intrusion, and he ends up being DDT'ed! Fit gets up to his feet again, and he eat's DDT as well. Ray and Fit are both down, and Mr. Crippler [mental note : make a created wrestler called 'Mr. Crippler'] gets handed a microphone. Benoit on the mic, what in the...

Benoit : 'In the past month, I've suffered a lot of pain... a lot
          of torment. Both physical... and mental. But one thing
          that's become clear. Chris Benoit will never be the same.
          The World Wrestling Federation will never the same. It
          will never be the same, and no-one will ever be the
          same. Fit Finlay and Stevie Ray tonight... But Dustin, this
          is especially a warning to you. You won't have that belt for
          long, and you won't have the ability to walk for long. The
          wrath, and the re-irising of the Crippler begins.'

Benoit walks out, leaving Finlay and Stevie in the ring. They start to get back to their feet, and then start to continue the match! We never had a bell to end it, so... Fit slaps Stevie in the face, earning a hard headbutt in return. Finlay staggers back holding his face, and-

Sycho Sid is on his way to the ring. Fit and Stevie start trading fists as Sid enters the ring, and he bashes both men's heads together. He boots Finlay and powerbombs him, then turns and does the same to Stevie Ray. Guess that wasn't an actual alliance we saw on Sunday night. As Sid picks up the microphone that Benoit tossed on the mat, I think it's time to throw this match out.

Fit Finlay and Stevie Ray battled to a no-contest in 0:01:52.
Rating: DUD

Sid : 'On Sunday night, there was a change in the weather, for the
       man they call Vader! You see, at the game I play I am the
       master! And, [gives an evil chuckle] Vader broke one of the
       rules. Last Monday night, you betrayed the trust, and you
       stood by the side of a man they call Triple-H. Well, Mr.
       Vader, that's something that is NOT fine with ME! Sleep
       easy tonight Vader, because with regards to the World
       Wrestling Federation... Your end... is near.'

Vader made Sid jealous by tagging with another man and now Sid wants to kill him. All this and more on 'Days Of Our Lives'! The Psychotic one makes his exit, and still to come tonight, we've got the man who had the affair himself, Triple-H, taking on Chris Chetti, plus Pierre Oulette
meeting Owen Hart.

Clips from In Your House, as Booker T's back gives out on him, and Triple-H picks up a bit of a screwjob victory. We're gonna go straight to the next match.

[Commercials]

The competitors are in the ring.

Match 4 : Chris Chetti vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Helmsley, who took a hell of a beating himself at In Your House, gets the early advantage, after a lot of stealing. He gets Chetti reeling with a series of right hand jabs, but then completely fucks up a dropkick, and loses the hold on the match almost right away. Chetti with a roundhouse right, and one whip into the ropes later, Helmsley has been knocked down with a clothesline.

Quick pickup, and Chetti sends him into those three ropes again, armdrag takes Hunter down. Armbar from Chris, but Helmsley is quick to his feet. Chetti puts him right back down again with a hurracanrana! Aye Carumba! Cover from Chetti gets a two count. Hunter's up to his feet again, and Chetti then hits a springboard dropkick to put him down AGAIN! Hunter's being battered here, and he takes a break, slipping to the outside.

Booker T with a chair! Ka-whack! Helmsley falls to the concrete, victim of a chair shot from Booker, who has just appeared at ringside. Oh come on ref, don't call for the fucking bell...

Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Chris Chetti by disqualification in 0:01:39.
Rating: DUD

... we've only been going a minute and a half. Anyway, Booker delivers a series of brutal chairshots to Hunter, before the scene fills with WWF officials, and Booker gets escorted to the back. Hmmm. Finkel announces Helmsley as the winner, but he sure doesn't look it.

We go to replays of what we've just seen, then cut backstage where Booker has some words to say. Shit, that was quick.

Booker : '[gasping for breath] Helmsley, this ain't over. If you
          got any balls, you'll take me on at Summerslam. Like I
          said, this ain't over, you ain't getting out of this
          that easy.'

We cut back to the arena, as we're ready for the main event.

'Ahahaha... Money, Money, Money, Money...'

Pierre Oulette hits the ring, alone. Owen Hart's scheduled to make his entrance, but first, Marty Jannetty is on hand backstage.

Jannetty : 'Brian Adams? You had no right sticking your nose into
            *my* match, and you've made sure I got off to the worst
            possible start here in the WWF. Well I ain't forgetting
            this. Next week, here on Thunder, if you've got the guts
            to match all the money you talk about you have, when
            you walk around backstage, then you'll face me one on one
            in a match. Brian Adams, man, I'm gonna make your
            life miserable.'

Hart makes his entrace, and it's time for your WWF Thunder main event!

Match 5 : Owen Hart vs Pierre Oulette

The bell rings in this battle of two Canadians. This might be the first meeting between two Canadians in WWF history. Hey loyal fan, go check for me. Yes, I'm talking to *you*.

Surprisingly, no Mabel with Pierre tonight. Though I doubt it'll be long before the *new* European Champion... interjects himself. I was gonna say "do a run in", but when was the last time you saw Mabel run? This coming Monday night another mDo member has a chance at a title as The Rock meets Goldust, and you've gotta feel that Hart'll have something to say about that. He was robbed of the title at In Your House, and to be frank, he probably deserves a title shot more than Maivia.

There's been major stalling from Pierre up to this point, and that's why after a good thirty seconds there's been no play by play. Finally we get a lockup, and Oulette gets the quick advantage. A *very* quick advantage, as it passes Pierre right by. A suplex attempt goes awry as Hart counters with a small package for a two count. That was almost an embarrasingly quick defeat for Oulette, who's commonly refered to in the mDo as "The one who's fat, but not as fat as Mabel".

Hart ends up going for a suplex of his own, but that goes awry too, reversed into a suplex from Oulette. Oulette now leads with two suplex attempts to one. Pierre sends Owen into the ropes, then takes him down with a kneelift. Bodyslam, and Oulette then goes up top. Cannonball!

1...
2...

Hart kicks out after the Cannonball! Oulette can't believe it, but he doesn't waste time arguing with Hennig, and goes straight into a Boston Crab. Owen's soon in the ropes though, and the ref now makes Pierre let Hart to his feet. Lockup, now it's Owen who sends Pierre for the ride. Oulette comes back attempting a clothesline, but Hart ducks underneath, then floors his adversary with a dropkick!

Pierre's right back up to his feet, but Hart is quick to whip him into the buckle and hit an avalanche. Owen with a succession of boots to Oulette's chest, then a whip into the opposite corner. Hart charges in again, but this time Oulette raises a boot, sending Owen down to the canvas. Oulette with some vicious stalling, then he goes and misses an elbowdrop, Hart rolling out of the way. Owen jumps up and drops an elbow on Oulette, then covers for a one count.

Hart pulls him up to his feet after the cover attempt proves unsuccessful, and plants Oulette down with a Forward Russian Legsweep. Cover for two. Owen with a gutwrench suplex for another two, and now Mabel's making his way to ringside. He better get to ringside quick [snigger] because Oulette's on his way out of this match. Hart with a belly to belly suplex, which I think puts him ahead in the suplex count, then he goes for the Sharpshooter!

Owen Hart made Pierre Oulette submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:04:53
Rating: **1/4

*Now* Mabel enters the ring. He clubs Hart from behind, and it looks like we're about to see a double teaming just like we saw on Sunday, when-

Davey Boy Smith hits the ring! He clotheslines Mabel down to the mat on the first try, then tosses the now-to-his-feet and advancing Pierre over the top rope! Smith cleans house!

The mDo makes their exit, and we fade out with a shot of Owen and Davey Boy hugging in the ring.