Things are gonna be a little more condensed than usual tonight. Those damn Nebraska hooligans stole all our microphones, so we've got pretty much a full hour of solid wrestling. Some matches even got above one star!

On the card : Vader meets former [beep] champion Chris Chetti, The European title is on the line as Triple-H takes on the British Bulldog, Adam Bomb clashes with Pierre Oulette, Fit Finlay takes on one half of the tag team champions Bart Gunn, and a whole load more. Plus, more  updates to the Summerslam card.

But first, a big ass clip montage from this past week on Raw. Loads of backstage stuff, then the last two minutes of the show are played in their entirety. Okay, so maybe it won't be a solid hour of *new* wrestling. Then we go to Jim Ross who, showing just how important *this* show is, starts talking about next Monday's show. Apparently the New Midnight Express and The New Age Outlaws will square off in singles matches. But now to the ring!

Vader versus Chris Chetti

At first, it seems like this is gonna transpire as nothing more than a Vader squash match. Vader clubs the hell out of him for the opening few seconds, then bashes Chetti hard into the turnbuckle. Now Chetti gets  some offence in, as he blocks Vader's attempted chops, and fires back  with some of his own. Right hands from 'The Rookie' get the RMBeast  staggering, and a missile dropkick puts the big man down.

Vader's quick to his feet, but gets nailed with a roundhouse right. Chetti goes for an Irish whip, but Vader goes nowhere, pulling on his  opponent's arm and taking him down with an armbar. Chetti quickly gets  into the ropes, but is soon sent crashing to the canvas with a gorilla
press after Vader ducks away from a clothesline. Chris springs up though,  and this time *does* execute a clothesline, and a second one sends Vader  through the ropes to the floor.

Tope attempt!, but Chetti misses and crashes into the floor. Cough. Now  it's MethodicalPunishment time. After bashing his smaller opponent around  ringside for a while, Vader takes it back into the ring, executing a  powerslam. No cover, he takes Chetti into the corner of the ring again.  Swinging left, swinging right, repeat ad nauseum. Chetti looks out of it, and he flops to the canvas when Vader finally gives him enough space.

Vader with an elbowdrop off the ropes, then a scoop slam, and the Rocky Mountain Beast goes up to the second rope. Actually, forget that, he's going up to the top rope. Vadersault coming up- but Chetti rolls out of the way! Vader's the first to his feet, but Chetti nixes that by giving
him one hell of a hard shot to the groin.

Chetti's slow to capitalise, he's still pretty banged up, but he eventually gets himself up onto the top turnbuckle. For what, we'll never know, as Vader's up to meet him, dishing out a hard left hand to crotch Chetti on the buckle. That'll teach him. Vader hits a superplex, and that's pretty much it. One VaderBomb later, it's over.

Vader pinned Chris Chetti with the Vader Bomb in 0:06:14.
Rating: * 1/4

Not a bad little match. Pretty much *was* a squash though. Let's go back to Monday Night Raw, clips are shown from three nights ago as Owen Hart took on Triple-H. Hart got the win via mDo interference, but tonight Helmsley's gonna take on Hart's partner, Davey Boy Smith, for the European title. That match is *next*!

WWF Summerslam Current Card:
01.[World Champion] Jeff Jarrett vs Steve Austin
02.[Tag Champions] The New Midnight Express vs The New Age Outlaws
03.Vader vs Sycho Sid
04.Chris Benoit vs Goldust
05.Jim Duggan/Marty Jannetty vs Brian Adams/Savio Vega
NEW MATCHES!
06.Booker T vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley [Nightstick Match]
07.Adam Bomb vs Mabel
08.[IC Champion] Rocky Maivia vs Owen Hart

*Tell* me this card isn't gonna kick ass!

Owen's victory [albiet by DQ] on Monday night, pretty much finalised his status as the number one contender, and he'll take on The Rock at Summerslam. The nightstick match was announced this past week on Raw, and, in a rematch from the night after In Your House, Adam Bomb will take
on Mabel. Mabel stole Bomb's *coveted* European title three weeks ago, and Bomb's out for revenge. We'll be back after these commercials with the European Championship!
 

And who will be fighting for the European title at Summerslam? All signs point to a battle royal being held on this program next week, with the winner to take on the champion at the pay-per-view. Expect to see a lot of new faces in that match.

European Championship
Davey Boy Smith [c] vs Hunter Hearst Helmsley

It's Bulldog's first defence of the title, and he looks completely recovered from his beating back at In Your House. Smith gets the early advantage, rocking Helmsley with his fists, then executing the half-hour suplex to put him down. Moving on, a headlock takedown puts Hunter on the canvas again, and a Boston Crab almost has Helmsley tapping out. He
reaches the ropes though, and after a solid minute of Bulldog dominance, Hunter takes a break, slipping out to the floor.

After a lot of stalling, Hunter provokes Smith to come outside and join him, and we get treated to a bit of cat and mouse. Helmsley paces round to the other side of the ring, climbs back in, then meets Smith coming in the other side with a knee to the face. Does that make sense? Hunter takes control, taking the crowd out of the match whilst attempting the same with the Bulldog. The commentators note that if Helmsley wins the title tonight, he'll be pulling double duty at Summerslam.

Hunter gets a two count following a DDT, and moments later comes close to taking the title with a superplex. Why yes, I *am* skipping a lot of the action, thanks for asking. Helmsley goes to work on the arm, dropping his knee across it, then applying a lethal abdominal stretch, rope assisted natch. Smith won't give though, so Hunter releases it, and sends the champ to the outside. Tour of the usual, until Davey manages to block a headshot into the post, and ram Hunter in himself. Smith shrugs off the last three minutes of punishment, and quickly scoops Helmsley up and slams him onto the announcers table!

It doesn't break, but it still does damage to Hunter. Helmlsey rolls/falls off the table as Smith returns to the ring. It looks like we'll be getting a countout victory for the Bulldog, but Triple-H eventually gets back in. Smith sends him for the ride, then takes him up for a gorilla press slam. Cross corner whip leads to an avalanche clothesline. Suplex for a two count. Davey goes for another suplex, but Hunter blocks, and breaks Smith's hold on him with a few hard fists to his mid-section. This match has *no* flow to it at all. Helmsley with a clothesline to put the Bulldog down.

Pedigree attempt! Smith with a backdrop to counter though, and Davey Boy starts really taking it to Helmsley now. Succession of quick right hand shots, then an atomic drop that has Hunter dancing. A dropkick puts him down, but Smith pulls him right up to his feet. Another clothesline into the corner, and Davey then picks him up for the Running Powerslam! Hunter's too close to the ropes though, and he hangs on for dear life. Smith tries to pull him off, but eventually gives up on the powerslam and dumps Helmsley out to the floor.

Hey, there's Mabel.

Hunter returns into the ring, and gets taken down right away by Smith with another suplex. Both men get right back up, and Mabel just tossed something into the ring. Helmsley with a rake to the eyes, as the ref goes over to admonish Mabel. Hunter picks up the object, what now appears to be brass knuckles, slips them on, and nails Davey Boy right between the eyes. Discarding the knucks to one side, Helmsley turns the referee's attention back to the match, and makes the cover.

1...

2...

3

Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Davey Boy Smith in 0:08:50
Rating : *
(Hunter Hearst Helmsley won the WWF European title)

Mabel looks on grinning as Tim White hands the title over to Helmsley. But why's Adam Bomb heading to the ring? Shoving his way past Mabel, not a mean feat, Bomb climbs into the squared circle and begins a discussion with the referee, as Triple-H looks on. After Bomb signals towards the brass knuckles that lie in the corner of the ring, White snatches the belt out of Hunter's grip and hands it back to the Bulldog, who's slowly getting back to his feet.

Davey Boy Smith defeated Hunter Hearst Helmsley by disqualification in 0:08:50.
Rating: *
(Davey Boy Smith retained the WWF European Title.)

Pissed, Hunter nails Bomb with a clothesline, but he in turn gets nailed by Davey Boy. *Now* the Running Powerslam gets executed. Mabel looks set to re-enter the ring, but faced with the opposition of Davey Boy Smith and a now-back-to-his-feet Adam Bomb, he decides to turn and make his way back down the aisle.
 

Still to come, Bart Gunn takes on Fit Finlay. Fit requested a match with Jeff Jarrett and, well, he got Bart Gunn. Also, we saw him just moments ago, Adam Bomb, he'll be taking on Pierre Oulette. But right now, Owen Hart meets Savio Vega!

Savio Vega vs Owen Hart

Owen Hart ends up on the outside almost immediately, courtsey of a sneak attack from Vega, and a quick clothesline through the ropes. Owen is quick to return to the ring, but Vega's taken the advantage, and he intends to keep it. Savio dominates on the mat for the opening two minutes, though in a chance to end it, he blows an enzirguiri. Hart now gets to his feet, staggering Vega with a series of fists, then flooring him with a dropkick.

Hart takes it to the corner, bashing Savio's head into the buckle, then climbing up to the second, and pulling off a huracanrana! Are highspots *allowed* here? There's no dq from Hennig, so Owen goes for the cover, getting two. Scoop slam from Hart, and the number one contender for the Intercontinental title goes to the top rope. Flying elbowdrop! Another cover, again it gets a two count, and Owen goes to the corner again. Chops on Vega, echoing around the arena. He attempts a cross corner whip, but Vega reverses, whipping Hart hard into the turnbuckle, and following back in with a clothesline to regain the advantage.

Yeah, I'm doing straight play by play here. Whip and a clothesline into the other corner now from Savio. A succession of right hands, and a chokehold is applied until Hennig steps in to break it. Instead of continuing his offence, Vega decides to argue with Hennig, and it almost costs him the match as Hart comes from behind and rolls him up for a close two count. Savio pops right up from the cover, and sends Hart back down to the canvas with a clothesline.

Elbowdrop and a one count cover. After Owen gets his shoulder up, Vega goes to a reverse chinlock, working on whatever area that hold hurts. As Savio keeps the hold on, J.R. confirms that next week on Thunder, there *will* be a battle royal for a European title shot, against Davey Boy Smith at Summerslam. Hart's now elbowed his way out of the hold, but Vega blasts him with a spinning mule kick, and Owen goes right back down. Kneedrop produces a close count.

Savio pulls Hart up to his feet, and sends him for the ride. Clothesline is ducked, and Owen turns, grabs Savio by the back of his neck, and tosses him out to the floor! Hart declines to follow him out though, and both men take a breather. Back to the ring, lock-up, and Owen takes the arm, twists it, then drags Vega to the mat. Into the headlock, but Savio gets to his feet and sends him for the ride into those patriotic ropes. Hart rebounds back, Vega leapfrogs, but Owen stops in his tracks and executes an armdrag on the Carribean Kid.

Elbowdrop, and I'm taking ages on this so you better still be reading, and the Sharpshooter gets attempted! Vega struggles his way into the ropes, but not before a good thirty seconds of damage is perpetrated. Hart takes him into the ropes again, and a dropkick now takes Savio to the floor. Owen follows him out this time though, coming off the apron with a flying clothesline to the outside. Keeping Vega down on the floor Owen dishes out a few fists to the face, then returns to the squared circle, expecting the countout win-

That never comes. Savio returns to the ring, straight into a side headlock, but Vega swings back with a kick to the groin. Owen doubles over, and Vega executes a small package-

1...

2...

And out. Both get right to their feet again, and now Owen with a roll up!-

1...

2...

Savio this time kicks out. Another pop up from both men, but Hart nails a vicious clothesline to send Vega back down, then for the second time in the contest, locks on the Sharpshooter! That's about it.

Owen Hart made Savio Vega submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:08:18.
Rating: *

Owen with the victory, and momentum going into Summerslam. Commercial break time, when we come back, Adam Bomb versus Pierre Oulette.
 

In a freaky coincidence, I bought a truckload of WWF tapes from 1995, and as I come to write this match report, the match I've got to on the tape is Adam Bomb vs Jean Pierre Lafitte. Weird.

Pierre Oulette vs Adam Bomb

As was announced earlier, Bomb will take on Mabel on August 16th at Summerslam, and early rumours have that match becoming the *true* main event of the show. Oulette, who has been at Mabel's side constantly over the past month, attacks right away, booting Bomb from behind. Bomb ponders whether to sell, but instead turns right round and scoop slams the son of a bitch. Oops, sorry, got a bit angry. Bomb's quick to pull Oulette up, and after a whip into the ropes, Oulette's down again via a jumping clothesline.

Hey, there's Mabel. Piss off Mabel.

Only thirty seconds into the match, we've already got company at ringside. Bomb is distracted right away, allowing Pierre to get to his feet, and one clothesline later, the former European Champion is on the floor. Hmmm, should Triple-H's half a minute count as an actual European title reign? The referee warns Mabel from attacking Bomb, but I doubt the big guy could be bothered to walk the ten feet distance anyway. And now it's Oulette's turn to turn his back, gloating to the crowd whilst allowing Bomb time to climb the apron, and nail him from behind with a slingshot clothesline!

Oulette goes down, and that brings about the first cover of the match, an unsuccessful one, natch. Bomb let's him up, and climbs to the top rope, from where he nails another clothesline. No cover though, as Pierre slides out to the floor, and engages in a little mid-match meeting with Mabel. Mabel seems to be giving Oulette some good ideas, as the one-eyed thugs eyes light up. Ooh, those are evil eyes.

Pierre returns, and pretty much his first action is to rake the eyes of his opponent. Kneelift puts Bomb on the canvas, and Oulette is then quick to drop an elbow and cover. The attempt gets nothing, and Pierre takes it to a reverse chinlock. A reverse chinlock? The earlier meeting between Mabel and Oulette seems to have gone something like this :

Mabel : Um, put him in a reverse chinlock?
Oulette : A reverse chinlock?! BWAHAHAHAHAAA!

Bomb breaks the hold easily, and in quick time. Back suplex makes the counter complete, and Adam takes control again. Cross corner whip, and a huge clothesline in the corner. Hiptoss into mid-ring, and Bomb then connects with a stiff-as-all-hell lariat. Crotch Slam coming up- But now Mabel's got himself up on the apron.

Annoyed with the fact that Mabel has such a good view of the action without actually buying a ticket, Bomb drops Pierre to the mat and strolls over to the big man. After a bit of shouting from Bomb, Mabel throws a right hand at him, but Bomb catches it and throws it int- Fuck that, I've done that [lame] joke before. After a bit of shouting from Bomb, Mabel swings a right hand at him. Bomb ducks though, and nails Mabel with one of his own! Pierre now comes from behind with a knee to Adam's back, knocking him to the mat, and the ref views this as grounds for a dq, obviously citing the small interference of Mabel as a factor.

Adam Bomb defeated Pierre Oulette by disqualification in 0:04:10.
Rating: *

Mabel steps into the ring, as Oulette does a first-class stomp job on the victor. Pierre with a slam, and Mabel now comes off the ropes with a biiiiig splash. Oinks, that's *gotta* hurt. Mabel looks like he's gonna go go for a second one, as we cut away.

Cut away, to a meeting with the taxman. We see Mr. Schyster behind a desk at this point, engaging in a rather large amount of paperwork. He looks up, putting his work aside.

I.R.S. : What the *hell* do *you* think *you're* doing here? Get out
         of my office. Now.'
 

And now we're back in Irwin's office. May I ask why?

I.R.S. : Oh, it's *you* again. As it happens, you've now caught
         me at a *good* time, although it's not such a *good* time
         for a Mr. Kristyak in Mercer, PA. In *fact*, you could
         say he's had a very *bad* day. And for anyone *else* who cheats
         on their taxes, you better realise right now that *all* days
         are going to be *bad* days. For the World Wrestling Federation,
         I see a *lot* of *bad* days on the horizon, especially for
         people like Steve Austin... or the British Bulldog. Some of
         the worst tax cheats in the world are right here in the WWF,
         and they better realise that if they don't *stop* whining,
         and *start* paying... then Irwin R. Schyster is going to have
         a field day [laughs].'

Hmmm. People kept asking me for Mick Foley, so I did the next best thing and hired Mike Rotundo.

Well, we missed the entrances of both Bart Gunn and Fit Finlay, which is probably just as well, since neither is exactly a heat machine. It's lameass main event time here on WWF Thunder!

Bart Gunn vs Fit Finlay

And away we go. No Bob Holly in Gunn's corner, and no Jeff Jarrett either, to the annoyance of Finlay. Gesturing that he doesn't want to waste his time with a guy like Bart, even though Gunn is one half of the tag team champions, Fit turns to leave. Leaving himself wide open for an attack from behind and, whether Finlay wanted it or not, this match is now underway.

And Gunn takes the early advantage. Quickly taking it to the floor, Gunn whips Finlay into the ringpost, then sends him to the concrete with a single leg takedown. Allowing Fit to get to his feet on his own, Bart returns to the inside, and has a brief chuckle over his good start to the contest. When the Irishman returns to the ring, Gunn whacks him upside the head with a few left hand jabs, then nails him with a bulldog off the ropes. No cover, as Gunn takes a few steps back and onec again laughs at Finlay as he slowly gets to his feet.

Gunn : This is what you get when you mess with Jeff Jarrett pal!

Bart keeps control, another left hand shot. A series of them, and now a ride into the ropes for Finlay. On the return, Fit manages to powerslam the tag champ! His first offence of the match gets a fair pop from the crowd, and Gunn holds his back in pain, not laughing now. Finlay then goes for the move that serves more to embarass your opponent, rather than hurt him physically, an airplane spin. After Bart flies through the air a good thirty seconds, Fit drops him to the mat, the task successfully accomplished.

And now it's Bart who goes out to the outside, slipping out under the bottom rope to shake off the dizzying effects of the spin. Unlike earlier, Finlay follows him outside, bashing his head into the guardrail repeatedly, and that's gonna do *nothing* to get rid of that headache. Finlay with a gorilla press slam on the floor, and Bart's now really hurting. Back to the ringpost again, and after dropping the tag champ on the steps, the referee gets Fit to return to the ring.

Gunn follows soon afterwards, and gets hiptossed to the mat immediately. Finlay keeps Bart down on the mat for the next minute or so, executing a long and dreary sequence of generic mat wrestling. After getting a number of close two counts down there, Finlay let's Gunn get to his feet, as the Irishman goes up top. Flying axehandle is executed, and could the crowd care *less* about this match? The move produces a two count so Finlay goes for a sleeper, a motion Bart doesn't agree with, blocking and breaking it right away.

Having been on the recieving end lately, Bart backs away into the corner away from Finlay. Fit goes right after him though, but Bart suckered him in, and connects with a low blow to send the Belfast Bruiser down. Gunn covers him, but it's gonna take more than a low blow to put Finlay away. Maybe it'll take Bob Holly, who's making his way down the aisle at this point. Gunn sends Finlay into the ropes and connects with a clothesline before going to the top himself.

A flying elbowdrop is attempted, and missed as Fit rolls out of the way. Finlay's quick up to his feet, but so's Bart, and we get a slugfest in mid-ring. The slugfest is broken with *another* lowblow from Gunn, and he then takes Finlay over to one side of the ring and starts choking him on the second rope. Hebner pulls Bart off and proceeds to tell him the rules of professional wrestling, whilst Bob Holly breaks a different rule behind his back. Rule 23[b], don't hit anyone with your tag team title belt. One whack later, the rest is a formality.

Bart Gunn pinned Fit Finlay with the Legdrop in 0:06:31.
Rating: * 1/2

And that's all, folks.